Christmas brings people together
by Karen1111
Summary: A two part NS story. extended to three
1. Say you don't love me

I sighed and collapsed against the soft white silk covers. This wasn't fair, I had been trying to get dressed for the Christmas ball for the past hour, and was still no closer to achieving my target. I had no idea why I was so nervous. Actually that's not strictly true I did know, but I didn't want to admit it. I was going with Nate tonight, and I felt stupid feeling this nervous. I mean I have known him for... well forever really. But know... know when he was around...

I just keep thinking about how he's always there. When I need someone he's always there, no matter what I've done, Nate is always there for me. And I don't know why? I honestly have never done anything to deserve that, to deserve someone quite as good as Nate. He's just... better than me?

"Serena?" Nate called. I looked at the clock, and realised that I was even further behind than I had thought.

"Err, in a minute." I grabbed the first dress that I had discarded. A floor length emerald green halter neck, and slipped on a pair of silver heeled sandals that the dress covered entirely. I walked out and paused for a second before smiling at Nate. It amazed how good he made the plain black suit look. Seriously, and it made my heart stop the way his soft smile washed across his face when he saw me.

"You look great." He said, I just smiled and nodded at him. Recently it seemed like his seal of approval was the only one I needed. It was the only one I cared about.

"So, you ready?" I asked wanting to get the butterflies out of my stomach. I had them every time I saw Nate now. It started, well really started that night he stayed with me in the hospital when no-one else did. I just felt... safe when he was there. Like as long as he was with me, nothing could ever hurt me.

"Yeah." He said, seeming oddly disappointed. I linked my arm through his and walked over to the elevator. As the elevator began it's slow descent (had it always gone this slow?) I looked over at Nate who seemed to be looking at anything apart from me. Not that I could blame him really, I had just left when he had put himself on the line. I wanted more than anything to tell him that I felt that way too. But I didn't posses enough courage to ever to tell him what I felt.

As we got out of the elevator (after what seemed like an eternity) we walked the short distance to the limo. As he held the door open for me, I couldn't help but smile. It was like he was right out of a fairytale, Nate always seemed to fit the profile of the "prince": handsome, charming, caring and well all round perfect really.

"Are you OK?" he asked me concern filing his voice and face, I smiled and nodded "It's just you seemed in your own little world for a while."

"Well SerenaLand is a fun place to stay." I laughed, and saw that amazing smile together.

"I'm sure it is." He smiled, the rest of the journey passed by in silence, but it was a comfortable silence. I couldn't stop myself stealing glances at him. As the car stopped Nate got out and offered me his arm to help me out. I laughed as once again I linked arms with him. I was sure if someone saw us right now they would think we were a couple. I sighed before Nate started to walk causing me to begin move forward as well.

As per normal the hall was decorated in the most elaborate decorations. Not like the kind of things I liked, I liked trees to be bursting with colour, these trees were covered in neutral tones, which didn't exactly scream Christmas, but I would never tell this to anyone, the committee in charge of it wouldn't take it well.

I saw Chuck and Blair across the dance floor and raised my left hand slightly, my right arm still interlinked with Nate's left. As I about to suggest we go over Nate cut across me.

"Would you like to dance?" The moment his eyes met mine the yes slipped my mouth instantly. As he led me out to the dance floor and turned me slightly, then twirled me ever so slightly. As I turned around to face him I smiled up at him. As his head started to lower I took a step back.

"Nate we can't..." I started but he cut across me.

"Serena, I love you." He said.

"Nate." I said looking around at the room full of people.

"We can talk about us outside if..."

"Nate, there is no us! OK. I just want to be friends." As I turned I fought the tears that were currently stinging my eyes. As I got out of the door and was about to go into the limo I heard an indigent voice shout my name. If anyone I had expected Nate to come out, not Blair.

"What?" I asked her, not really up to arguing with her, so whatever I had done I just hope she didn't shout too much, even if I couldn't think of anything I had done to her.

"Are you crazy?" she asked looking my right in the eyes.

"What?" I asked, I had no idea where she was coming from.

"You just left Nate like that."

"Oh." Was all I could say.

"Oh. That's it? You left him, for the third time now, after he said how much he wants to be with you. If you don't like him, just tell him and don't keep giving him hope. It's not right."

"Blair..."

"No! I don't see how you can like people like Tripp and Carter and no..." Blair's voice was tinted with distaste and anger. And my own anger was growing.

"Because they couldn't hurt me!" I screamed at her then upon realising what I had done my hand shot up to cover my mouth.

Blair's eyes grew in shock and confusion. "What?" she asked.

Deciding that she wouldn't let the subject go until I told her the truth I looked away from her. "Carter and Trip... They... Well everyone knew they wouldn't work, including me. And if I knew what was happening what would happen beforehand then it couldn't hurt me if and when they left. With them I knew that I couldn't get hurt because I always expected the worst."

I stopped then to wipe away the tears that had started to slowly fall. "But Nate... Nate..."

Blair's eyes softened then, and as she held my hand softly she prompted me to carry on.

"Nate, well I can't see anything going wrong. I can see myself falling completely in love with him, I even think I love him slightly just now! And if that happens, when that happens... I couldn't handle it when he leaves, and he will leave."

"You don't that." Blair told me her voice soft and caring opposed to her harsh and judging tone earlier.

I nodded my head. "But I do. They all leave. And I'd rather be friends with Nate, than not have Nate at all."

"S, Nate isn't like that."

"What if I make him hate me?" I asked tears freely falling now and I made no attempt to wipe them away as more would fall, so it would be pointless.

"That could never happen." A soft voice from behind us said. We both turned around, shocked to find Nate there. While he was looking at me, Blair took the opportunity to go back inside, leaving us standing outside.

"I couldn't stand it, if you hated it." I whispered.

"I could never hate you." He replied taking a step closer to me. I just shook my head and looked towards the ground. "Serena." He said lifting my chin so I was looking into his eyes, those magnificent eyes that made me want to melt. "Tell me you don't love me, and I'll go. I'll never bring it up again, and we can still be friends."

Looking into his eyes I tried to say the words but I couldn't get the words out. How could I? How could I deny my feelings when he was making me face up to them? This time I couldn't run, I couldn't do what I always do, run when I get scared.

"Nate... I..." I tried but I couldn't get the words out. Staring into his eyes, made me realise how much he cared for me and made me want to melt. This time as his head lowered I made no attempt to move, instead my eyes seemed to flutter close by their own accord as my arms went around his neck, as his arms went around my waist to pull me closer. As we pulled away we both wore slight smiles.

"So now what?" he asked? I just smiled at him. Who knew what now? All I knew in that moment was that I loved Nathaniel Archibald.


	2. Promise you'll stay

"So now what?" I asked as my arms where still wrapped around her. She just smiled at me, the bright smile of hers that could illuminate the darkest nights and pull anyone out of their misery. The smile that I loved.

"I don't know." She giggled, in that way that is unique to her. The laugh that she only reserves for those she cares about, the laugh that makes people want to laugh with her as it so infectious. Although I'm not sure if it's her laugh, or her.

Then a sly smirk came across her face, the one that lets you know before she even utters a word that she had something planned. "Actually I can think of something." After this she tilted her head towards mine, and as the kiss grew more passionate, I pulled away. I did not miss the look of pain that flashed across her face then.

"I'm sorry." She whispered "It was stupid of me." She began to move away from me, and instantly I reached out for her, knowing if I let her go then, I would stand little chance of getting her back, something I just wasn't willing to risk. Not now, not after so long.

"Serena, it's not that it's just... We've waited a long time for this." She smiled and leaned her head forward again. "But..."

"But?" she cut me off, once again adopting her hurt face.

"It's just... I want to do this right. I don't want to rush things. Serena, I need things to work out. I don't think I could handle it if you left again."

"I won't." She whispered. "I want things to work out between us as well." Her words so soft that I wasn't entirely even sure that I had heard her right, or even if she had said anything at all.

"So..." she said breaking our silence "Maybe we should go back inside."

"How about we go for a walk instead?" I asked her.

She nodded, and I felt my heart skip a little as she entwined her fingers with mine. Even simple acts like that seemed so much more special when the girl I was with was Serena. Everything seemed perfect. It seemed odd, that not so long ago my hopes that this would happen were crushed, and now it seemed like I had everything. I would sacrifice anything and everything to ensure she stayed safe.

She spun around randomly making me nearly fall into her. This just seemed so... Serena. No-one could predict what she would do next. The only person who ever knew what was coming next, was herself, although sometimes I'm not even sure that she knew, she just seemed to go with the flow. Unlike most of us, she seemed content with not knowing necessarily what was coming next. Sometimes anyway, truely her way of just going with things, I always thought was to attempt to hide the girl she was, the one who got scared, the one who got sad, the girl only certain people got to see. To everyone else she was perfect, and eternally happy, until you got to know her and learned that she preferred to pretend everything was fine than face up to the truth.

"Nate." She whispered as she cuddled into me, as my arms went around her. "Promise you'll never leave."

Without even stopping to think about it "I'll stay with you forever." And I meant it, I would do anything for her and wanting nothing less than forever with Serena. I had never even considered this with Blair, Jenny or Vanessa even when my parents wanted it for me and Blair. If I was truthful the only person I ever truely loved was Serena.

"Thank you." She whispered. We sat and talked about us until I noticed it was late.

"I should get you home." I said standing up offering her my hand to help her up. She started to laugh in her adorable infectious giggle replying that she was old enough to stay out.

"I know I just want to keep you safe." I said giving her my coat as all she had was her shrug. She smiled at me, as I walked her back to the hotel.

I kissed her softly then pulled away. "See you tomorrow."

She smiled and nodded. Despite what I wanted I done the honourable thing and walked away.

"Natie." Serena called me, using the name she hadn't in years, which brought a smile to my face. "Love you." She shyly said.

I smiled, possibly the truest smile ever. "I love you too."


End file.
